


Sincerely, Satan

by Fiddlerinthewoods



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Based on a Dear Evan Hansen Song, Don't Judge Me, Don't lose faith in me!, Enjoy!, Fluff, Halloween!!!!!, Happy Halloween!!!!, I hope this is funny..., I love DEH, My First Work in This Fandom, Parody, SINCERELY ME, do not take this seriously, i apologise in advance, sorry..., this is a joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-27 05:15:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16212167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fiddlerinthewoods/pseuds/Fiddlerinthewoods
Summary: "WHY WOULD YOU WRITE THAT?""I'm just trying to tell the truth.""These need to be PERFECT. These e-mails have to prove to the cult that I was Satan's disciple.Just… I'll do it."





	Sincerely, Satan

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own DEH
> 
> Connor/Satan: normal  
> Evan: italic  
> Jared: bold  
> Tree bros: Underlined  
> Sincerely, three: Bolded underline 
> 
> Warning: mentions death and killing  
> Enjoy!

Dear Evan Hansen,

We’ve been WAY too outta touch. Things have been C R A Z Y and it sucks that we don’t talk that much. But I should tell you that I think of you at night… I rub my nipples and start MoAnInG WiTh DELIGHT!!!!

_WHY WOULD YOU WRITE THAT????????_

**I’m just trying to tell the truth.**

_These need to be PERFECT. These e-mails have to prove to the cult that I was Satan’s disciple. Just… I’ll do it._

I gotta tell ya ruling Hell without ya has been hard,

**Hard?**

Has been BAD,

**Bad?**

HAS BEEN **_ROUGH,_**

**Kinky!**

And I miss talking about cults and other stuff.

**Very specific…**

_Shut up._

I like my Hellhounds

**Who says that?**

I love my Hellhounds but each day’s another fight. If I stop killing them then everything might be alright.

**Killing… them…?**

_JUST FIX IT!_

If I stop genocide

_GENOCIDE??_

If I stop my massacre, then everything might be alrite….

I’ll take your advice and I won’t be more “nice”. There’s no turning around, don’t wait and see….

Cause all that it’s take is a little MUR-DER-HU-MANS! It’s easy to do if you give it your CON-JUR-ING-RULE! All you gotta do is just kill the ones who go against your accumulation. 

Sincerely, Satan

**Are we done yet?**

_Well, I can’t just give Satan ONE e-mail. I wanna show I was like, a good disciple you know?_

**Holy Hell…**

_Dear Overlord Satan,_

_Yes, I also miss our talks._

_Stop killing Hellhounds, just try to take deep breaths and go on walks._

**No.**

_I’m sending pictures of the most amazing sacrifices. You’ll be obsessed with all my amazing detail for sacrifices._

**Absolutely NOT.**

_Lord, I’m proud of you; just keep pushing through. There’s no turning around, I can see._

Don’t wait to see!

Cause all that it’s take is a little MUR-DER-HU-MANS! It’s easy to do if you give it your CON-JUR-ING-RULE! All you gotta do is just kill the ones who go against your accumulation.  

Sincerely, Satan

That angel’s hot.

_What the hell???_

**My bad.**

Dear Evan Hansen,

Thanks for every sacrifice you give.

_Dear Overlord Satan,_

_I’m just glad to be your disciple._

Our discipleship goes beyond your average kind of bond.

_BUT NOT BECAUSE WE’RE GAY!!!! (He’s also my lord…)_

No. Not because we’re gay. (He’s my disciple, eww…) 

We’re close but NOT that way. The only man that I won’t kill is my dad…

Well, anyway….

_You’re not changing anyway…_

I’m not changing anyway….

_Never_

Change

_Any_

Way! 

HAIL! HAIL! HAIL! HAIL!

** Cause all that it’s take is a little MUR-DER-HU-MANS! It’s easy to do if you give it your CON-JUR-ING-RULE! All you gotta do is just kill the ones who go against your accumulation.   **

** Sincerely…. **

Worship Satan

** Sincerely, Satan **

Sincerely, Satan

** Sincerely, Satan  **

** SINCERELY, SATAN!  **

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Halloween!


End file.
